sketch of a marriage

The following was first written in February 2004. Hard to imagine it took me so long...

With you, I was longing for that sincere, unwavering union
the envied kind
that people think they see in us
eternal, like the Methuselah tree
A light of love that brings radiance
to a past of
muted colors and bleeding rawness

I longed for something of gravity
densely sacrosanct, stirring in subtle but
palpable hints of esteem, like in
old married couples who still hold hands
One that is safe and tender
One that doesn’t injure
or breathe insult
or deem incessant, recurrent apology
or provoke my fancy for flight

This must exist somewhere beyond my
Imagination.
Somewhere outside our circle of
ambiguity and turmoil
Could I be laudable of
moments that live inside the mind?
Serenity, light, harmony
worthy of time-capsule jewels
trillions of hourglass calm
in real time, for a lifetime
or is it just beyond my horizon?

-- JR February 7, 2004