my professional life

Today arrived with some surprises - but I'm rolling with it. In my life, I've learned to be flexible and focus on what is in my control.

mmmmmm

Dancing is the BEST! I wish it was Friday or Saturday night right now - I want to dance dance dance.

Assistance please

Visitors -
Please help me out. I need a name for the untitled poem I posted on Monday March 23. It's one of those rare times when I have a loss for a title. And no, you don't have to register to leave a comment - you can post as an anonymous person but leaving your name in your post is always nice.

Driving Through the Night

When it's all done,
and the chatter of the day
leaves you for awhile,
and only the radio is there
to witness your streams
through a
windshield of wishes,
all obligations dry up
to let your river open.
It's a quiet mind embrace
and you can finally
hear your waterfall
as solitude washes over it.
Like waves of years
you can surf
there are sights unseen
that only your
mind's eye
has permission to swim.
The dance of a thousand kind gestures,
someone scenarios and
conversation circles
all that you can remember,
loop through your spirit
like fresh water springs.
It's all there
raining in
until your ride
alone
ends.

Food

I'm back in the kitchen, cooking stuff! On the menu lately: Trapani pesto over pasta (homemade tomato pesto with roasted ground almonds) and homemade pizza crust using my new pizza stone.

strumming

I had to get the old guitar out tonight. I missed it.

when friends refer new musc

Added a song on here by Maria Taylor for a new friend, someone who enjoys her.

Thanks for the tip. I dig Maria now too and I dig it when people turn me on to new music. Thanks dude!

cafe rainsong

The rain along cobblestones
outside cafe window
doesn't wash it away
not even close
to clean or bright
or rinsed in light
just brings the streams
of empty waves
crashing to a beached
love affair
a puddle
in heaps of hope
and while I taste
the saltwater ambitions
I know there are only dreams
in the wake of tomorrows


##

putting it away for awhile

I think I have to stop listening to U2 for awhile. The old and new tracks are bringing tears lately and I'm not sure why.

xx

an untitled poem, for now

The universe

likes to play games

of sentiment

plucking two from

the countless numbers

with serendipity

under crescent moon

as Coltrane’s Stardust

rains over city

showering them,

fog devouring

their shore

as they live

within the confines

of obligation

and purpose,

but a turn,

a dance,

open and bright

finds

seamlessness of spirit

and dreams of light

in music and mirth

deepened relevance

even if

for the shortest spell

ever

on earth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whisper of Spring

This was taken next to a lagoon near Lake Michigan and downtown Milwaukee. The melting ice on the lagoon reminds me that Spring is not too far off.

Sounds on a Sunday

Updated the playlist - just wish I could find a decent recording of a Grateful Dead tune that I love - Scarlet Begonias.


XX

doing a happy dance

I'm going out to boogie tonight. YESSSSS. Can't wait.

tunage

I've decided to make the music optional. You can listen, or not.

scream until the last divide

How I'm feeling this week as opposed to the last few:

Real. Grounded. Domestic.

As Billy Corgan would say:

You make me real / lately i just can't seem to believe.
You make me real / discard my friends to change the scenery.
Strong as i feel / it meant the world to hold a bruising faith.
You make me real / but now it's just a matter of grace.

love of sound

Music has always evoked emotion in memory for me. I'm sure that isn't unusual.

However, my senses of memory with smell and sound wrapped around music seem to be particularly assiduous.

matinee musing

When reality strikes and it all starts sinking in, then it's time to go to the movies. I'm chillin' this afternoon by myself at a theater and I'll love every minute of it.

Wishing on a star

I'm wishing on a star that may never line up with the moon - but speaking of which, the moon was FANTASTIC last night. I laid awake on my couch for quite a while just gazing at it. Mental note: time to take photos of the moon.

boom shaka laka

Like the song on here says, my heart goes BOOM

Rain dance

The universe is playing with me again. It does this every so often. Not sure why and no, I can't elaborate on that at this time.

But at least some poetry is emerging, which is often the product of this dance.

driftwood photos

I took these photos in the north woods of Wisconsin - in the rainbow flowage, chock full of driftwood



Driftwood is a great subject for the camera. I was just told the one below looks like a gargoyle.

Rain and fog and thoughts

Ah, Saturday.

I heard this new tune on 88.9 Milwaukee this morning - while driving in the fog.

This girl likes fog

These are his lyrics not mine - but I like

...and the stars fell out of the sky
and my tears rolled into the ocean
now i'm looking for a reason why
you even set my world into motion

'cause if you're not really here
then the stars don't even matter
now i'm filled to the top with fear
but it's all just a bunch of matter
'cause if you're not really here
then i don't want to be either
i wanna be next to you...

Having some fun with my photos

music to my ears

I'm flippin' over "No Line"

Thank you

Paul
Dave
Larry
Adam

I'm finding amazing layers and new levels of appreciation that I didn't know I could feel.
-- like nothing before

-- Just when you think you've heard it all, or enough anyway...

The writer in me can't really describe this.

xx

senses on overdrive

So today I'm riding in my car, window actually down, and I suddenly get a whiff of that spring thing. You know what I'm talking about? It is that special something that sends you:

--the memory of getting the bike out for the year -- when you were like 7
--the slushy sounds of cars driving shiny saturated roads of winter melt
--the touch of warm sun drops that bathe lips and lashes
--the audible measure of purest riffs from passing car with open window
--the sight of burgeoning mint leaves and dogs' furry heads hanging out of moving cars
--the delicious taste of something new taking shape

one more

How could I forget, Carlos Santana?

guitar riffs make me...h__

Thinking lately about guitarists and how they have rocked my world.

These dudes rule!

• The Edge
• Jimi Hendrix
• Jimmy Page
• Stevie Ray Vaughn
• Kenny Wayne Shepherd
• Robin Trower
• Eric Clapton
• Randy Rhoads (high school crush)
• Eddie Van Halen
• Joe Satriani
  

it really is magnificent

...Only love...only love can leave such a mark. But only love can heal such a scar...

- Bono

lurkers, hope you check it out

No disappointment here

I'm digging U2's new song, Unknown Caller.

There seems to be mixed reviews of U2's new album, No Line on the Horizon.

I think a lot of albums get this kind of coverage, especially those that are transitional risks like this one. It's like the old adage of being resistant to change. Many need time to warm up to new music, especially new work by greats who have a history of pleasing most. The bar is always high.

Me? I like what I hear so far. I won't hesitate to make purchases for my iPod as soon as I'm able.

As usual, our friends from Ireland do not disappoint.

The email graveyard

E-mail is a funny thing. I think of it like a letter, with the same excitement as getting a fun piece of mail in the physical mailbox at home. (Can you imagine how wonderful it must have been to get a letter from a friend in the old days?)

Now, I don't really don't get much in terms of messages from friends in e-mail despite the convenience. Now with the availability of facebook and the like, for e-mail I only get a word here, a sentence there . It is sort of disappointing.

I'm a foodie for sure

I don't know if I'm mentioned it before on this site, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE to cook. It's my first choice of profession if ever I had to pick another.

Like good food, I'm addicted to watching fine cooking videos, most especially ROUXBE. They even have a cooking school.

Go to rouxbe.com and don't forget to check out the yummy Chana Masala recipe!

Bring it

Listening to rock and blues tonight. I'm all fired up.

I guess I'm still the rocker chick - always shall be. And specifically, British rock is my favorite.

It doesn't flippin' matter what my birth certificate says, I'll be the old lady decades from now with her car radio blasting.

Some things die hard and I'll take digging music to the grave.

In a couple of weeks, I'm going to a gay nightclub with some women friends to boogie. I absolutely love to dance and this particular place is awesome. I especially like the fact that I can have fun without creepy straight guys hitting on me.

Boys on Bikes

It was a warm, sunny afternoon as I was on my way back to the office on my lunch hour. (I truly enjoy getting out of the office and going home for lunch whenever I can).

I sat in my vehicle at a stop light at a rather busy intersection – a junction where my quiet village neighborhood meets its bustling little downtown of grocery, shops, cafés and restaurants. Then I noticed three little boys on their bikes waiting at the light to cross in front of me. Two were about six or seven years old and the third one, tagging along with them, was about four. They were blond and adorable and I wondered to myself if I would be having a son in the near future.

Then I heard one of the older ones say, “Come on, we can go now,” and with that, they began to get on their bikes and start heading across the street. They didn’t look to their left. That’s when I saw a car charging ahead through the amber light, clipping along at a pretty good speed to get through the light in time. The car was headed right toward the boys.

It was one of those perfunctory moments for me - when animal instinct, that deeply embedded knee-jerk impulse, takes over without volition. My hand flipped up and my mouth opened as frantic sound came pouring out. “Stop! Don’t go! Don’t go!” The voice didn't sound like mine at all but the phantom voice of a faithfully departed crossing guard who lingers around for times like this. The boys looked at me and halted as the car came to a screeching stop.

They stared wide-eyed at the car, mouths open. The driver resumed onward at a much slower speed, appearing relieved. One of the boys said, “Wo! That was close.”

When the coast was clear, they crossed in front of me on their bikes. That’s when I noticed the little one, the blond 4-year-old on his tiny bike gazing up at me. He kept looking at me as they rode away. He looked somewhere between shocked, frightened and relieved, with a slight smile on his face.

Nothing stood a chance of ruining my mood after that episode and the feeling lasted all weekend.

View from my bike

Two little boys around the age of six are in their front yard, making a ruckus and totally digging it. One of them has a pointy, plastic sword and he's swinging the holy crap out of it. He's aiming for the other boy.

Out from the house storms a tiny girl around four years old, messy hair, dirty face, petite hands firmly on her little hips - her sundress hangs to mid-calf.

"Mommy says you aren't saaaapose to play with that, Billy," she chimes in.

"Yeah? Well she's not here," he responds.

"But you know she says that. She says sommmmmebody's gonnnnna get hit in the EYE or somethin' like that."

"Quit bossing me!" he says glancing at his little sister, sword still in full swing.

He quickly looks back at his little buddy but it's too late. WAKKKK!

Billy had accidentally knocked the other kid hard in the forehead with the sword. The kid yelps and runs off crying for his house next door, palm to his tear-streaked face.

The little girl turns to her big brother, now with one hand on her righteous hip.

"Don't even say ANYTHING!" Billy bellows and storms off.

Quelled Qualms

Failing to return a bad pair of pants
Not standing up to the mean CEO’s rants
Choosing to bake in the damaging sun
Electing to slave without snagging some fun
Eating a burger instead of fresh salad
Settling down for the mundane and pallid
Performing housework instead of writing
Lingering in shadows in lieu of bright lighting
Wishing after the party I had allowed myself cake
Thinking that maybe I appeared as a fake
Resolving to find several self-faults
Forgetting the fun in doing somersaults
Letting an employer decide on my school
Believing in lies conveyed by a fool
Choosing not to be my very own boss
Allowing dilution of my own special sauce
Watching TV when I could have been reading
Following the masses instead of leading
Existing too frightened to take vital risk
Neglecting today as finite and brisk
Believing a lie that I was born second class
Permitting oppression and revolting trespass
Trusting that frolic must stop with age
Escaping luckily that conditioning cage
Awakening now to salient road
Tasting fateful seeds generations have sowed
Realizing that life is too short for regrets
Living a series of edifying vignettes
Resolving to take credit and blame
Be accountable for my best and accepting my lame
Love myself fully and do all that I can
…and wear protection when crap hits the fan

note: Thankfully – I can see when my mistakes have been made in life. I sure hope I can correct them before I’m too old.

A confession

As much as I know that this world needs serious contemplation and change, I need a break from it. Today, I just want to say "Oh never mind." or "Oh bother" as Winnie the Pooh would say.

If just for a while, I will just leave it all behind and just be my playful, campy self again. I grow tired of my serious, grim side. I can't save the world from its ugliness and so I must just try to live within it the best I can.

Weeping for Shasta and Dylan

Warning: If you don't like F bombs, then you might not want to read further - because I'm out of character lately, spilling with angry emotion.

I wish I could be more positive these days, but the truth is, I'm heartsick. I'm angry! I'm in a major blue funk over these children...darling, innocent children. I'm sick to death of hearing that some sick person out on PAROLE had his way with and took the life of a sweet and innocent child. It's alarming that nearly every day I hear of a new case.

Isn't it alarming? Aren't you freaking angry?

WHY IS THIS CONTINUING TO HAPPEN?

If you're reading this...please ask yourself, "AM I ANGRY ENOUGH TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS DAMMIT or WILL I JUST SAY 'AWW THAT'S TOO BAD' AND GO ON WITH MY DAY?" well, I am ANGRIER THAN EVER. I'm angry enough for YOU and everyone else. I'm FURIOUS.

I have children and I know how absolutely innocent and sweet and loving and darling and SMALL they are, how precious their little hearts are - they are gold in the face of these monsters.

Dylan didn't have to die. He shouldn't have. Shasta should have never ever met this sick person. Because of people in power not making the right decisions to keep these sick people off the streets, another child is dead and a girl child is struggling right now to make sense of her emotional and physical pain. I don't even want to imagine what she's been through for the past 6 weeks. My mind doesn't want to wrap around it because I know from personal experience how terrifying and devastating assault can be. But I can't imagine being 7 or 8 or 9 and having to deal with someone's fucked up fancy of torture.

I want to do something - but so frequently I feel so helpless and powerless. I want to DO SOMETHING to make a change so that children don't have to experience the wrath of these FUCKED UP individuals anymore.

The problem with this news is, it's TOO much information, so much for us to handle. What can we do? How are we supposed to process this stuff and go on living our daily lives?

If you saw a sick man on the street with a knife ready to stab people because he's crazy he'd be behind bars or locked up in a hospital ASAP right? He could be committed right? We wouldn't let sick people out that would likely kill people so why the hell are we letting people out on PAROLE that have committed acts against children in the past? WHY? WHY? Don't they understand that pedophiles don't change? They don't heal. They aren't capable of being normal. Some freaking psychotherapy doesn't change them.

In this lifetime, mark my words - I will do something to make a difference for the lives and safety of our children. I don't say that lightly.